Letter To Myself
TEACHER: What are you doing?
AKPOS: I am writing a letter.
TEACHER: To who?
AKPOS: To myself.
TEACHER: What's inside the letter.
AKPOS: How am I supposed to know, I haven't received it yet!
FUNNY VIDEO: I was so bored today that I had to watch this again and again
Two young boys were plucking oranges from a tree belonging to an old man, they heard him coming their way and ran away with the ones they had. While the boys tried to run into the cemetery, they found that the gate was locked and they decided to jump over the fence.
While jumping, two oranges fell from their bag and they left it. When they were safely inside the cemetery, they began to share the oranges.
The boys started counting: One for you, one for me.
A drunkard passing behind the cemetery heard their voices and ran as fast as he could to the church to tell the priest that he has heard God and Satan sharing Corpses. Then the priest came with the drunkard to the entrance of the cemetery to hear for himself.
The boys were still busy counting: One for you, one for me.
After they had shared the ones they had, one of the boys asked the other, "What about the two at the gate?"
Immediately the drunkard and the priest heard this, they took to their heels.
FUNNY VIDEO: Kiss and Pay by Stephen Bensin
A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane. The man turned to him and said, "Let's talk".
KID: Ok, what do we talk about?
MAN [making fun of the kid]: How about nuclear power?
KID: Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question. Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty and horse clumps. Why?
MAN: I don't know.
KID: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don't know shit!?
FUNNY VIDEO: Interesting funny video of how Mark Angel Comedy started.
This conversation takes place between a father and son...
SON: Daddy one of my friends insulted you. FATHER: What did your friend say?
SON: He said you do bark like a dog. FATHER: WHO! WHO!! WHO!!!
SON: Dad, you just barked!
FUNNY VIDEO: Give Me Your Hand
A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before". So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace.
The dog noticed and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!". The lion abruptly stops and says "woah! This guy seems tougher than he looks, I better leave while I can".
Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes that he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "get on my back, we'll get him together". So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "where the hell is that monkey!? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago."
The lion stopped and ate the monkey for dinner.
FUNNY VIDEO:😁 😁 Nepa Wahala 😁
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
''Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied,
''Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.''
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
''So why is the groom wearing black?''
FUNNY VIDEO: Tea is free
Little Akpos came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No", said his mom, "of course not."
Little Akpos then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
FUNNY VIDEO: Pepper dem gang. Watch and Receive sense
Stone and Hard Things
One day, two young boys were in the field, staring at a lady bathing.
Then the first boy started running and so did the second one.
When they stopped the second one asked: "Why are you running like a mad person?"
Then the other replied, "It's because my mother said that if I ever look at a naked woman's body, I will turn into stone and I felt something getting hard in my pants."
FUNNY VIDEO: So funny Stop resting your manhood on my backside… Lol MC Masterdesmond
Akpos enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer:
BARBER: This is the dumbest boy in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a N50 note in one hand and two N10 notes in the other, then calls the boy and asks:
BARBER: Which do you want, boy?
Akpos takes the two N10 notes and leaves.
BARBER: What did I tell you? Akpos never learns!
Minutes later, when the customer left, he sees Akpos coming out of the ice cream store.
CUSTOMER: Akpos, May I ask you a question? Why did you take the N10 notes instead of the N50 note?
Akpos replied, "Because the day I take the fifty naira note, the game is over!
FUNNY VIDEO: Hahahaha….Just know this, There are some guys out there waiting for you to break up with your girlfriend. LOL
Can I Go?
GIRL: Can I go on holiday with my friends?
MUM: You can go with your husband when you're married.
FUNNY VIDEO: This Aboki International video will make you laugh continuosly
A six year old boy was visiting a fishing shop and the following dialogue ensued:
KID: Sir do you have sardine packages? I feel hungry and wanna buy some.
SELLER: Sorry ehn! This is a fishing shop not a department store. We only sell baits for fishes.
KID: Oh, am sorry Sir, thanks.
The next day, the same kid came back and again visited the same store.
KID: Hello Sir...
SELLER: Ah! You again? What do you need for today?
KID: Uhm... Are there any sardine packages? I wanna buy some because I am hungry.
SELLER: (Starts getting upset) Please boy, do you mind to read? THIS IS A FISHING SHOP NOT A DEPARTMENT STORE. WE ONLY SELL BAITS FOR FISHES. DON'T YOU KNOW BAITS? BAITS ARE FOOD FOR FISHES AND NOT FOR YOU!!!
KID: Oops Sorry Sir. I...
SELLER: IF YOU EVER COME BACK AGAIN HERE AND ASK AGAIN ABOUT THAT GODDAMN SARDINES, I WILL PUNCH YOUR SHITTY MOUTH WITH A VERY BIG GENERATOR!!!!
And the third day finally comes
KID: Hello Sir...
SELLER: AHA! YOU!
KID: Do you have any generator?
SELLER: Hmmmm, I guess I don't have it for now.
KID: Then is there any sardine package?
FUNNY VIDEO: Bike Man part 2
Sons Of B***hes
A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his new electric train set. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All you sons of bitches who are getting off, get the hell off now, and all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train cause we're leaving right now."
The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train but you must use nicer language."
Two hours later, Her son came out of his room and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope that you will ride with us again. For those of you just boarding, we ask that you stow all hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope that you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. For those of you who are pissed off because of the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!"
FUNNY VIDEO: Ajekpako and Ajebo challenge themselves in a concentration game
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer on, "If my dad was a rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
FUNNY VIDEO: Combantrin
When People say they can't see anything good in you...
Hug them and say, "Life is difficult for the BLIND!"
FUNNY VIDEO: PLEASE MEET THE MOST INTELLIGENT MAD MAN IN THE WORLD
Pregnant Girl on Facebook
A pregnant girl on my Facebook list finally gave birth...
Now she's been uploading her baby pics every 20mins, and this makes me feel like I am raising her child with my data bundles.
FUNNY VIDEO: Will you kill your whole family for 30 Million Naira? 😂😂
"It was a Saturday morning and Akpos said to his wife, "Today I had a dream about a beautiful woman.''
His wife replied, ''Oh! Was it me?''
Akpos said, ''No, it was not you, it was someone else''
The wife said, 'Ok... I'm sure she came alone.''
Akpos replied, ''Yea she did, how did you know that?''
She said, "Because I was with her husband, he came in my dreams too alone."
FUNNY VIDEO: You can never hide from an Edo girl friend 😂😂😂
Once a Day
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely.
“Once a week?” A third of ?the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant.
“Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up.
Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?” One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?”
The man yells, “Today’s the day!”
FUNNY VIDEO: Question & Answer Game
I'm a Father
MAN 1: I am going to be a father.
MAN 2: Your wife should be happy now I guess.
MAN 1: The problem is she doesn't know about it
New Funny Memes Available:
African Fathers are like...
ME: Dad, can I have N50,000?
DAD: N40,000? What do you need N30,000 for? N20,000 is more than enough! Here's N10,000, give your brother half...
FUNNY VIDEO: If u laugh u must share
Smart Little Girl
Once, a little girl went to a shop with her mother. In the shop, the little caught a glimpse of a bottle filled with sweets. The shopkeeper noticed her staring at the bottle filled with sweets and said, "Hey cute girl, you can take the sweets if you want them."
But the little girl didn't do anything. The shopkeeper was surprised and repeated again, "You can have the sweets."
But the little girl didn't take the sweets.
The mother finally weighed in and said, "You can have the sweets dear."
Yet she didn't take it. The shopkeeper picked the bottle of sweets himself, poured a bunch of them onto his hand and gave them to her.
While returning home, the mother asked her daughter, "Why didn't you take the sweets when the shop keeper told you to take them?"
The little girl replied, "Because the shopkeeper's hands were bigger than mine."
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